


Out in the No Walls

by jesterlady



Category: Charmed
Genre: Apologies, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e21 Apocalypse Not, F/M, Gen, One Shot, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 06:58:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1889283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prue and Leo have a little conversation about what it means to be a Whitelighter after he tells Phoebe and Piper they need to let Prue die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out in the No Walls

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed.

Prue paused in the conservatory. It had been a long day and she was tired. All she really wanted was to go upstairs and fall asleep in her bed. Instead she opened the door to the oft neglected garden and walked outside.

Leo stood at the end of the path, hands in his pockets, simply looking up. She walked up behind him, not bothering to say anything to alert him to her presence. He’d probably known she was coming before she did. They stood that way for a couple of minutes and Prue reflected that they really ought to spend more time in the garden. It was beautiful when it wasn’t covered in shards of glass from yet another time when the windows had been blown out.

“I’m sorry,” he said, breaking the silence.

“What for?” she asked, though she had an inkling of what it could be.

“Don’t play games with your Whitelighter,” he told her, giving her a half-smile. “I told them to let you die today.”

“Hey, the world was saved, we all lived, no harm, no foul,” she said, trying to play it off.

The truth was she felt a bit panicked when she thought about how close she’d come to staying on that other plane forever. It hadn’t exactly been fun.

“It’s not okay,” he said. “You should be mad, hurt, angry, throwing me into walls maybe.”

“I’m not that bad,” she said, huffing a bit. He threw her another look. “I’m not,” she protested. “I don’t think you’re striking the proper tone for an apology.”

He instantly sobered and she felt bad.

“I didn’t want you to die,” he said.

“I know that. Leo, you’re not human and you don’t always react like one, but you have a big heart.”

“I can’t help feeling like some things are right and some things aren’t,” he said, scuffing his shoes on the ground.

“You’re our conscience,” she said, putting her hand on his arm. “You make the decisions we don’t know how to make. We need you. We need your knowledge and experience and patience and the ability to make hard choices. It doesn’t always make someone popular; I know a little something about that.”

“I guess you do,” he said, turning to look at her. “Thanks.”

“You have my forgiveness if you need it,” she said. “I don’t always agree with you, but I know you always follow what you think is right.”

“I don’t know if Piper sees it that way,” he said ruefully.

Prue paused because whenever Leo said her sister’s name there was so much love in his voice that it staggered her. It made her feel sad because it reminded her of Andy and what it was like to be loved, but, at the same time, it made her a little fearful of the intensity of Leo’s love. Even when they were fighting she couldn’t imagine anybody loving anyone more than Leo loved Piper.

“It’s pretty obvious and she’s not stupid,” Prue said.

“It’s just…sometimes I know she thinks it isn’t worth it. She loves me and she loves us, but our lives aren’t exactly easy together. Of course she’d probably tell me I’m worrying too much.”

“And then you’d tell her to look in a mirror because it would be pretty obvious at that point that some misfired spell had turned her into a pot, right?”

Leo chuckled.

“Yeah, she worries and she frets, she doubts herself, which makes me doubt sometimes if I’m all she wants. I know she chose me, but I don’t think she knows just how much I chose her.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I don’t know how to explain it. Being a Whitelighter isn’t like anything on earth. We feel and we love and we make bad decisions and we’re sad when we lose a charge, but…we have no doubts. There’s no wondering about anything. It’s…amazing. Such perfect clarity and I never wanted anything else; it’s the most fulfilling life. But…then I met Piper and there was something new, something like love, worry, selfish desires, attachment, wanting to be rooted. And it’s thrown me off center.”

“Piper does that to people.”

“But it’s like getting a new identity, like a new moral center. You had to change your viewpoint when you became a witch, I know, but try changing over fifty years worth of moral certainty in a few months while on call for half the world.”

“I get it,” Prue said, throwing her hands up.

“I just…want to do right by you guys, by her. I’m supposed to know everything and this is all new to me. Then something like today happens and I worry that I’m not making the right decisions; that I’m over compensating.”

“The world is more important than any one person,” Prue said, hating herself for saying it, but knowing it to be true. “But that shouldn’t change us trying our very best to save any single person, to fight for the people we love, to have relationships and families and attachments.”

“It’s different for me.”

“I know. That’s your burden to carry and I can’t help you with it.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to. I just want to help Piper understand that as hard as this is for her and as much as I want to be there for her, I have a responsibility to the world too. If it came down to it though, I’d clip my wings for her in a heartbeat, I’d choose her. I would choose one person over the world. It goes against everything I know, but she inspires that in me. Even though she doesn’t want to feel responsible for me being mortal, I’ve lived both lives and I know she’s worth it. She’s the most terrifying woman in the world and she’s worth it." He sighed. "I guess it just means I have to work a little harder at being clear about the right thing than I used to.”

“Well, what are you telling me for?” Prue asked, feeling a little overwhelmed with his confidences. “Go tell her. And don’t take no for an answer, she’s a little stubborn.”

“I know,” he said, smiling ruefully. He looked down at her and then he hugged her and she hugged him back after a moment. “Thanks, Prue.”

“You’re welcome,” she said as the sound of a window being scraped open filled the air.

“Leo Wyatt, I’ve been waiting for half an hour. Orb your butt back up here and if you get any jingling in your ears, switch on the answering machine.”

The window slammed shut.

“On the other hand, maybe she’d like your undivided attention,” Prue said, smothering a laugh.

“I think I can handle that,” Leo said, grinning and disappearing into blue lights.

Prue stood for a moment, making herself a mental note to enjoy the garden more and to cut Leo just a little bit more slack. There were too many times when they ignored his wisdom and did their own thing only to find out they should have listened to him.

Besides, being a Whitelighter was a little bit like being the oldest child. Something Prue could definitely relate to.

By the time she made it inside, locking the door behind her, and up the stairs, she could hear the unmistakable sounds of two very happy people giving each other their undivided attention from behind Piper’s closed door.


End file.
